I don’t believe in the modern day idea of having a “soul mate” or “the one”, because what it actually entails is just unhealthy, if not dangerous emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I don’t believe there’s only one person out there that made for me nor do I think in this entire universe, there is anyone who is 100% compatible with me and without them, I can’t carry on living or I’m “missing out” or my life isn’t “complete”. The notion of the one is just that pathetic typical nonsense that Hollywood and cheap fictions manage to sell to their audience. With that said, however, it’s very likely that when meeting someone that you want to spend the rest your life with, you just know. How do you know? these are a few things I compile, based on my own relationship, which I think can be helpful in evaluate the health of your own relationship as well and whether the parties involved should take their relationship to the next level, and by that I mean marriage:
- We both the same system of belief. P and I are both serious Christians, which leads to a great deal of similarities in the way that we view relationships, finance, career, gender roles and so on…Sharing the same values help us to alleviate a lot of problems because we don’t really argue about “big things.” Relationships are hard, without shared belief, the challenges can be tenfold.
- Our direction in life: we both look for marriage, even early on in our relationship, that was very well communicated. We want to serve the Lord together, build a Godly family and we are both supportive of each other’s career paths.
- We can talk to each other for HOURS from daily mundane activities to music to movies to linguistics to philosophy to books to relationships.
- We can also feel comfortable in silence: When we first met in Sydney, we just stayed at the beach for hours, not saying anything, and just savoring the sound of the waves crashing the shore and closing our eyes or staring at each other
- We can laugh and be silly together: There are times we just do stupid, silly things together and laugh our hearts out. We love laughter.
- We have a life outside of each other: P is involved in his church activities and of course he is pretty busy writing his dissertation. I myself am occupied with classes, my blogs and various other activities
- We challenge, encourage and build each other up: There are times when we are different in opinions and we respectfully share our views but at the same time by expressing our own view, we challenge the other person with new perspectives and from there, we can grow together.We know we are each other’s allies and not enemies.
Thanks for reading. May God bless and fill your life with contentment in him.